Hiya fellas! Sorry for the long hiatus. Took me a while but I finally decided to pick up my pen again… well not literally my pen, but you should know that. In the midst of the kidnapping of hundreds of my country girls by the Boko Harram sect and the resultant #BringBackOurGirls trend, I’ve decided to talk about hashtags. I was initially cynical concerning the relevance of the hashtag in resolving the Chibok situation, but granted, I accept it has played a huge role in alerting the international community on our plight and bringing aid from more developed allies, though the good that has done is still yet to be seen. However, during this period, there’ve been some curios developments, from people like Nicki Minaj and Rihanna (who have no inkling who these girls are and most likely care less than little about them) flying the #BringBackOurGirls trend, probably cause that’s what’s in vogue, to Atiku and Tinubu swapping # for the Naira sign, it’s a wonder they have Facebook accounts. Oh let’s not forget Jay Z offering his nemesis Sister-in-law, Solange, for the girls… oh wait, that one was a joke.
So let’s go, I know a few, and googled a few. Here’s 7 who graced my hall of fame.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely song. Mariah Carey and Miguel made a very good match. However, why the song has a hashtag to its name has been a mystery that has haunted me till this day. Dear Mariah, hashtags are for social networks primarily, they won’t get it sold faster on iTunes. Well, it’s the same chick who tried to song diss the best rapper alive, Eminem, so I guess I shouldn’t be too amazed. Putting the hashtag was nearly as stupid as Jay Z naming a song ‘FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt”. Yep, you read that right, that’s exactly how he named a song off his most recent album, the song even features Rick Ross, probably just to say I got 99problems but a spacebar is one. Unlucky Jigga, you were just a hashstag short from claiming the top spot on this list of stupids.
This is an acronym for Throw Back Thursday. Again, don’t get me wrong, it’s a quite awesome hashtag… when rightly used. But throw back is throw back, which means throwing back which means… what am I saying? Well, the point is, throw back should be something in the distant past, something people can look on and smile, reveling in nostalgia and memories… not some bloody picture you took last Thursday!
It was a nice song, Dorobucci, and granted the song used the ‘doro’ word an ample number of times. However, we are still clueless to what it means. That being said, its use has been plagiarized beyond trite. Just like ‘Surulere’ is now used to mean… well throwback and present… even if the only apparent difference is your hairdo and age. One might wonder if Don Jazzy does all these on purpose just to have something he can snigger on while visiting a privy.
For those here who aren’t twitter ardents, that’s a popular twitter acronym representing ‘Let Me Know When Ya Done’ it usually comes after the RT4RT plea, telling someone to retweet your favorites and you return the favor so you can… why am I explaining this, it’s generally a stupid idea. However, what is more annoying is the fact that we have an acronym something that long. I mean what’s the point of learning to read if you can push off a whole sentence with just a few letters and absolutely no vowels? Keep it up and we’re going to have freaky hashtag conversations, hell we already do… Go on instagram, find some hashtag freak, count the number of useless hashtags on one post… and well #LMKWYD.
Uhmm, yes, someone tweeted that. If it’s any consolation, he won the Guinness World Record for Stupidest tweet… Just kidding, it’s the Guinness World Record for Longest Twitter Hashtag he won. Just hope that it was worth all the followers he most surely lost after exhibiting such mental deformity.
The then child superstar Justin Bieber was snapped hitting up a joint, and then this hashtag was born. It was started by a group of internet pranksters named 4Chan who decided to prove how stupid them white teenage fans of Bieber could be (They’re called ‘Beliebers’, to me that’s ample proof enough). The #CutForBieber hashtag was supposed to be a campaign to tell Bieber to stop smoking weed by cutting yourself up with a blade and twitpicing the picture with this hashtag. And, well, it trended… glo-freaking-bally. So pictures rolled and rolled, pictures of people mutilating themselves. Granted, most of them must have been fake (I still can’t believe anyone is that stupid)- but it pays to imagine that some now grown up lady can look at her personally inflicted scarred arm, see the junkie Bieber has become and revel in the gloriously enormous follies of her youth… that is if she doesn’t commit #SuicideForBieber.
His name is Dappy. He’s a former member of the former crew N-Dubz. He went beyond the borders to create something unique… something uniquely stupid. And yes, it’s an empty hashtag. Why is it number one? Why is it unique? I hear you wonder. Well, while other less enthusiastic… and more sober… fellows post their hashtags on social medias, well, this dude decided to post his somewhere more permanent… his face!
So I ask, do you know him? Heard any of his songs lately? If you’re answers were no then we can conclude even his reason, as stupid as it was, was not achieved.
I rest my case.
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