Over the years, I have come up close and personal to many ladies, and sadly I’ve always found their ideas of their male counterparts reasoning to be way off the truth. We’ve all watched the movie ‘Think like a man” and some even went as far as reading the book. But my dear, how could you possibly think like a man when you have absolutely no idea what happens from a man’s point of thought?
As a self-proclaimed human psychologist and a guy who probably knows a billion other guys, be rest assured that what I’m about to tell you is legit. However, as with all behavior theories, it doesn’t apply to every single male folk- perhaps only 80%. Yes, there are the 20% who are genuinely different (NB 15% of them are gay). So dear lady, here are few misconceptions you have that I’m gonna try and correct here. Not exactly sure it’ll help your relationships or interactions, but, hey… The truth’s gotta be said.
- Every Guy does not want to date you!
That heading looks kinda harsh. Sorry, didn’t know how else to put it. So I’ve been with a couple of females who keep telling me how many guys in their school were asking them out, and guys in their church, and office, and area, and… wherever they step their lovely feet into. One even told me most of her friend’s boyfriends were into her. She was like, “I don’t know why oh, my friend’s boyfriends are always liking me.” Now, I apologize for not saying anything then, but I’m making up for it now. Honey, you might be as beautiful as Beyonce and have a natural version of Nicki Minaj’s fake body (I don’t assume any of my readers have done implants yet), but…and I couldn’t stress this well enough, the universe does not revolve around you! In this world we are in today, every girl is a hot cake. Every average looking girl has a quarry of toasters wherever she turns. Let me state this, 90% of the niggas toasting you have relationships and have no intention of ending them. My point? Harsh as this might sound, most of those guys chasing you only want a piece of your ass, capish! And I know some might still find pride in this but just know that you’re probably on a long to-do list of every nigga that approaches you. One looked at me one day and proclaimed “Dozie, I’m a fine girl, I can get any guy I want.” I didn’t reply her then, I’m replying now… Maybe you can get most guys you want into your pants, but to commit? You’re on a loooong thing!
- Not every guy is outspoken.
Story of many lives. You like a guy, you think he likes you. You two have been friends for a while, you even hangout often. But you keep waiting for him to make a move, to no avail. Now let me redirect to another of my friend’s comments. “I’m not searching. True love would find me where I am and come sweep me off my feet.” I don’t really blame her though, I blame Telemundo and Herlequin books for filling people’s minds with fantasies. The hunt for true love, my dear readers, is universal, regardless of gender. I know it’s the man’s duty to make the ultimate move, but you’ve gotta play your part. Now back to the initial story of you and that guy you like who you keep hanging out with. You must’ve heard of ‘friend zone’, yeah, that’s exactly how it starts. Let me categorically clarify this, I’m not advising you to ask him out yourself, a lot of guys would see that the wrong way and misuse you. My point? There are things called “greenlight”. If you like a guy, especially when you two have known for quite a while, you should know that’s the hardest stage to toast a girl in and not every guy is outspoken or has the guts. Sometimes, an outspoken guy might even like you too much (or love you) and lose his smooth talking ability when it comes to you, or he might be scared to ruin the friendship. That being said, when you like a guy in these kind of circumstances, you’ve gotta give him some clues, help him know that it’s not just him that wants something more. I don’t know how you’ll do that, but you have to try. Do something different, show some extra interest, give him an indication that he won’t get bounced if he tries.
- Hanging Out frequently is a Male’s Greenlight.
Now this is one conversation I’ve been privy to a lot. Girl hangs out with boy numerous times, I ask “what’s up with you two?” and she’s like, “It’s not like that, we’re just friends.” Let me clarify this, minus the advantage of boobs and ass- and excluding romantically inclined events, nine out of ten guys prefer the company of their fellow guys- the tenth one is probably gay by the way. My point? When a guy ‘hangs out’ with you repeatedly, you might not know this, but it counts as ‘dates’ to him. Agreed, sometimes, maybe he never gets the courage to make a move, or changes his mind and then you guys get stuck in that forbidden friend’s zone, but trust me on this, at the start he had other plans. So don’t act all surprised when he makes a move. It is kind of annoying when you’ve been having outings with a girl for long and you finally ask her out and she’s like “Let me think about it.” Like seriously? What have you been thinking all this while? Speaking about replies females give….
- “Let’s take it slow”: Male’s understanding.
I was discussing with a female friend recently who was complaining about an action of one of her male ‘friends’. During the course of the discussion I inquired if they were dating, she gave a firm ‘no’. Then I inquired if the guy had asked her out, “Of course,” she affirmed. Then I asked what her reply was and she said she told him “Let’s take it slow.” Now, maybe some of you understand what we understand by this statement, but she didn’t, and so, for the benefit of girls like her let me explain what the term ‘let’s take it slow’ means from a male’s point of thought. It means, ‘Yes, I like you… yes, I’ll date you… But hey, don’t expect no bed action just yet.’ If you thought otherwise… Think again!
- He cheated, he lied? That doesn’t mean he stopped loving you!
I know, this one just sounds wrong and sad and wrong and stupid and wrong… How many time have I said wrong now? But wrong or not, it’s true. Now, most guys have this inbuilt predisposition to never miss a chance to score. If you missed that innuendo, this particular topic isn’t for you. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. A picture I saw few days ago read, “Solomon had 700 wives but he still cheated on them with 300 concubines”. You would recall earlier in this blog I mentioned how guys might be in a relationship but still ask some other girl out for the main purpose of scoring. I have had conversations with a couple of ‘wise’ ladies who admitted they weren’t expecting their men to stay faithful. Now, just so we’re clear, I’m not advocating that you should let your partner cheat or be comfortable with it. What’s my point then? I guess my point is just that, sometimes… (Please note I said ‘sometimes’), sometimes, the fact that he cheated on you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore.
- You’re not as unique as you think.
Now, this particular one is just plain rancor on my part stemming from a conversation I had recently with a female friend who said and I quote, ‘I can’t be dumped.’ Now, I like being frank and realistic. All sentiments, positivity, religious beliefs aside, you have the same number of eyes, nose, mouth, boobs etc. as the girl next door. Sure, you might have a better face, or frame, or more flesh- or less, or more intellect, but be that as it may, there’re people out there who could make you look ugly or dull. And the sad truth is, it isn’t even about looks most times. Ok, let’s accept you’re unique, that makes the girl next door unique too in comparison with you. My point? Like I stated above, men cheat… not because she’s even necessarily hotter than you, but just because… Sure he might leave you and deeply regret it afterwards, but there’s always that tendency! In a nutshell, what I’m saying is, to every Jennifer Aniston there’s always an Angelina Jolie that can steal your Brad Pitt, to every Amber there’s a Kim your Kanye can switch his allegiance to… Should I keep going?
- His thought isn’t all about sex.
This is the commonest of misconceptions and I don’t really blame anyone because most times it is true. Repeatedly in movies, a mind reader sits in a bar, and starts pointing out peoples thoughts, usually the reading is always ‘sex’ for the male folk. Well, sweetheart you may not have noticed, but fuel pump prices keep increasing, the economy is sloping so it gets hard to survive, some of us just graduated we’re thinking on how to start a life, Some are students and thinking how to settle their course ordeals, some are broke and thinking how to pay their tuition fees, some are thinking how to make ends meet… I sincerely hope you didn’t miss the rhyming I used just now! Anyway, my point is… Yes, everything I’ve said so far may be to the contrary, but, sometimes a guy might be with you, or looking at you and not be trying to imagine the color of your pants. Let me reiterate an earlier quote, the universe does not revolve around you!
- Males don’t care that much about boobs and ass.
That’s it for today. Feel free to comment. You think I got any of these wrong, say so. You think I’m right? Say so. Next Sunday I’ll drop the female version of this “From a Female’s point of thought.” And seeing as I am not a female, it’ll be way harder so I’ll appreciate as many comments and suggestions as I can get. You can post it here or email me: email@example.com or reach me on twitter: @dotzyeh.
Don’t forget to click the follow button below so you can receive updates from this blog.
See ya next week!