Hi there. How y’all doing? It’s been a while. I heard y’all took a trip to the city called Wande. It was fun yeah? Funny thing, I don’t recall seeing any comments about that on the blog. Anyways, today I wanna talk movies. If you’re a strong Nollywood or Bollywood fan, now would be a good time to exit this page- this blog is not for you. If you don’t watch movies at all, you shouldn’t even be browsing to begin with.
I’ll be talking about 2014 movies that I found astounding. Let me quickly explain my criteria for my rankings. I’m a chronic night crawler. For that reason, I mostly only watch films at night… deep at night. Usually I do whatever it is I fancy doing till like 2am after which I find a movie and watch. Now here’s where the stratification comes in. At 2am, there’s every tendency for me to easily sleep off. If peradventure I sleep off while watching a movie, that doesn’t necessarily mean the movie is crap. If I sleep off two nights in a row on the same movie, it is! (In the case of one movie ‘The Monument Men’, it was 5 days before I queried myself when my eyes were about dimming on day 5 and hurriedly deleted the movie). However, only truly astounding movies can keep me awake watching them in a single night, and those are the kind of movies I wanna discuss. The kind of movies that would wipe sleep away from your eyes.
Now if peradventure you read the book version of this post- Booklography, it wouldn’t take you by surprise that I’m starting with my least favorite. Whenever someone inquires of me as to whether this movie is interesting, I’m caught up in two worlds. Perhaps one might watch it and enjoy it… perhaps. It’s catchy, I’ll tell you that. It did have me awake till the end, that’s when the horrified look crept up to my face. I guess it’s a perfect example of what happens when movie script writers decide to create overly complex tales.
Let me try to summarize the craziness of ‘Predestination’. The movie involves a guy who travels through time back and forth. He grew up as an abandoned baby girl… Yep, ‘girl’ wasn’t a typo. She falls in love with a mysterious guy who gets her pregnant then abandons her. She abandons her child- a baby girl, later has an accident and has to undergo a surgery that changes her to a man. Well, along the line he goes back in time and sees the past-female-him and decides to save her heart from the other guy that breaks it… And then as weird as movies can get, they make out. Did you just say eew? Yep, technically, the guy banged himself. But that’s not where it ends. A future him comes and whisks him away from the grasp of his lover-self. He abandons her-himself, without saying goodbye. She’s pregnant for his child, delivers the child- a baby girl- and abandons it… Ok, reread the summary again from the top.
Yep! Turns out he was his father, his mother and himself. You see, you haven’t watched it yet and you already hate it.
The Fault in Our Stars:
Another movie that has my views divided. But unlike Predestination, my antagonism towards this movie has nothing to do with the movie itself. My only grievance with the movie is how deeply saddening and depressing the atmosphere of the movie is. This movie transcends the tragedies of Romeo and Juliet or the Titanic. It also creates an awareness of how fragilely mortal we all are. But that’s just the bad part. The good part is, it’s as captivating and emotional as movies go. A perfect love tragedy. It’s the first movie in years to nearly bring me to tears- trust me, that’s not an easy feat. It also had such a perfect ending that beneath all the sadness I smiled and I haven’t gotten the last phrase off my head ever since… ‘Ok, Hazel Grace?’ After watching it, I swore I’ll delete it from my computer. No one deserves to watch such depressing ish, I thought.
That was last year. I haven’t deleted it yet.
In Your Eyes
Another romantic movie on the list. It seems I’m getting too soft. I don’t know what exactly to say of this movie or why I like it. All I know is, I don’t really dig romance movies. I don’t even remember why I downloaded the film but the day I decided to watch it I was few minutes away from sleepville and decided this would be the perfect movie to usher me there. And lo and behold, sleepville didn’t come till I had finished the whole movie. I like the concept I guess. Maybe it’s not exactly an astounding movie. Maybe I am getting soft. At the end of the day, I’m the author here and I’ve decided it comes on this list. Shikena!
Anyone that has watched Divergent already knows why it’s on this list. Anyone that hasn’t definitely should. I couldn’t say more- or don’t know how. The movie was so good, I –as usual- went in search of the books. Wrong move by the way. The books after part 1 took a turn for the worse. The movie directors have quite a job on their hand creating two more sequels as captivating as this. Let me say it again- Anyone that hasn’t watched this movie definitely should.
The Hunger Games:
If I had written this blog a year ago, this film would have still made the list. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire lived up to the hype. I know, the real credit should go to the author of the novels. But if there’s anything I’ve learnt from my vast experience with novel to movie translations, it’s that it’s very easy to screw up a very nice book- cc Twilight. And then Mockingjay part 1 came out. Now this is the true feat. The movie creators ventured through paths that the best of books have trod and recorded disasters- they split one book into two movies. Harry Potter (Deathly Hallows), The Twilight Saga (Breaking Dawn) – all examples of books that were split to produce an embarrassingly mediocre first part. Mockingjay Pt 1 was indeed deeply captivating and trust me, that’s not an easy accomplishment. I’ve not read The Hunger Games Trilogy (surprisingly) and after watching the movies so far, I don’t think I need to.
Every once in a while- more like once in a month- Hollywood blesses us with Musical movies, or dance movies. They mostly always go the same way, the dance crew or Musical team get into a competition, then eventually come to a face off in the final with their arch rival. That’s when the main actor shows up with a stunt (that we probably saw other people do during the contest but weren’t meant to notice) and thus they win the contest or the Nick Cannon single handedly, with only a snare drum and two sticks, drums an entire musical band to victory. Or in some cases, the main team don’t win, but they end up getting more fame than the winners- Hello, Lemonade Mouth. So when I started watching Whiplash, which I was only watching because I totally love that dude’s acting, and saw him playing a drum, I thought I knew exactly how the movie would end. How wrong I was. Awesome movie!
I figured a comedy movie should enter the list before you all start considering me humorless. And if there’s any movie that did light up my face with smiles this year, it’s Corner Gas. It and ‘Horrible Bosses 2’. Quite simple, entertaining and extremely funny- to me at least. I laughed so hard while watching it my Dad had to come to my room and remind me that half the world was supposed to be asleep.
The Imitation Game:
The only ‘Award-favorite’ to enter my list. This year’s Academy and Golden Globe awards were all about The Imitation Game, Birdman, Selma, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Foxcatcher, American Sniper etc. While the others are quite cool and did in fact keep me up all night watching them (except Foxcatcher- that movie is BS. Don’t watch it, I advise you), I think Imitation Game was the one that had me the most intrigued. Most of the others (e.g. Birdman, The Grand Budapest Hotel, American Sniper) don’t really have a defining event within the movie to look forward to. But Imitation Game had that crazy code to be cracked, and for that it gets here.
Guardians of the Galaxy:
Now recently I have become overly skeptical with movies. I criticize and look for errors too much for my own good. I frown at movies that involve one person killing a large number of opposing others such as Denzel’s cameo in ‘The Equalizer’ or Keanu Reeves nearly acting The Matrix all over again in ‘John Wick’ (without the explanation of machines, dreamworld, and being the chosen one to back up his invincibility)- I don’t even glance at Jason Statham or Steven Seagal films. I try to see the rationality behind actions displayed in movies, how realistic they are and so on and so forth. So, when a movie as unrealistic as ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ (that has as many diverse and ugly looking creatures, planets and spaceships as ‘Star Wars’) gets on my list, you better believe it’s freaking awesome. Thasall!
Perfect example of my kind of movies these days. No sci-fi effects or invincible fighters, just everyday people in an everyday life. And yet it’s an entirely captivating motion picture. I think the main actor, Robert Downey Jnr. owns the credit for this one. His act as a pompous lawyer filled with sarcastic vibes was probably the highpoint of the film. Ironically, in the end he lost the case on which the movie was based- just like WCFC lost the Wande match- But, hey, it’s all good. Right?
Edge of Tomorrow:
This is the only movie I have fully watched twice in recent years. Funny enough it’s not only Sci-fi which I’ve already stated I’m beefing, but it also has the completely overused tale of alien machines taken over earth. But… But! Edge of Tomorrow’s story is simply a masterpiece. I’ve always trusted Tom Cruise’s movies but this one exceeded my expectations. I spent minutes after watching it just staring in awe at the ingenuity of the plot. I won’t say much to avoid dropping spoiler alerts for those who haven’t watched it. If you haven’t watched it…
What the hell are you waiting for?
Talking about ingenious plots, here’s my number one movie from the year 2014 till date. I don’t know where to start my praises from. The fact that it’s devoid of combat action? The fact that the whole movie was videoed in one house’s living room and the total cast for the movie was 8. That’s right, just eight people having a simple get together in a parlor, how could that be interesting? Chill, here’s the interesting part, the producer shot the movie in his own Living room, without a crew or a script! It took over a year to plan.
Let’s talk about the movie itself. It starts as boring as a movie can get, and should you be one short on patience, you wouldn’t watch past the first thirty minutes. Eight friends having a get together dinner. Even the video quality is poor (no crew, remember). Ah, but hold on a little bit longer. A comet happens, their house loses power supply and then everything goes haywire little by little. The movie is really very confusing and I bet a lot of people would watch it and not understanding most of what transpired, wave it aside as a useless film. It’s one of the craziest movies I’ve watched (Predestination is crazier though). Anytime I remember Coherence, I just wish, wish and pray that I could get to the point where I could write a story as sparse in details and yet as deeply intriguing, complicated and entertaining. You should watch it. You might not understand the movie, but if you do, then you’ll understand me.
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